Archive for the 'My Thoughts' Category

My Part

When asked I would have to say, “disenchanted”.

In a world controlled by the population vote, in a world where right and wrong are unyielding and misunderstood, in a world where the poor go hungry and the rich roam free: Disenchanted.

There are a few laws by which this world turns, and one of those laws I have a great personal interest in.

Knowledge is power.

We hear it everyday and never question it’s servitude, we hear it and believe, but never really think of it’s repercussions. Knowledge is power, my friends, merely because without it we are not propelled into any form of action. Knowledge is power, and half of the world is ignorant.

From the unspeakable in Darfur to the AIDS epidemic in Africa to the Homeless living right here on the streets of my home town I am responsible. Knowledge is not only power but it is responsibility; responsibility to act.

The pain inflicted upon these people is enough to cause one to deny the very existence of that pain, but to deny the pain is to deny the hope. We must speak of the unspeakable and we must act accordingly. To deny pain simply because it is painful is to disconnect ourselves from humanity, and that, my friends, is a greater loss than I am willing to bear.

In a world where men deny the pain of reality and claim themselves invincible: Disenchanted.

I swear to you, whoever you may be, that I will not live my life denying any man the respect and dignity that he deserves. This life will cause me great pain, I am sure, but a greater pain, a disconnection of all brothers and sisters from one another, will be soon to follow if more do not stand and act upon that which they know to be true: We are in this together, and no man is greater than another.

In a world where one can save the lives of many, and chooses to think only of himself…

Follow-Up to Re-Creation

The “Conservation of Matter” Law states that Matter can neither be created nor destroyed; I postulate that this is also true with thoughts. My time without outside influences was short lived, for the simple fact that, I couldn’t stand it!

Perhaps getting rid of all influences is not the answer; perhaps it is just having fewer… But again, this hypothesis is fallible, in the way that, if we only have certain influences then we become unbalanced in our thinking and therefore biased when confronted with a new idea or principle. Perhaps the only way to actually re-create what is given, is to take it and apply it to all things… without forgetting to contribute your own thoughts. Balance… It’s chaos!

So, I went to a Switchfoot concert on Sunday evening!


Switchfoot is my favorite band, and I have been waiting to go to one of their concerts forever.

They are on their Appetite for Construction Tour, where for every ticket purchased a dollar was donated to Habitat For Humanity.

We got there four hours early, pending my prerogative to be the first ones there… We weren’t…. But we did get the front of the floor; pretty much as close as you can get. The only downfall of being in the very front is that when other people are pushed, they push the people in front of them, and the people in front of them, and so on; there were no people in front of me! Nope. Nothing but a big steel barricade that had a fun time inside my ribcage.

But it was definitely worth it; the show was amazing.

Other “not so cool” things that happened while at the concert:

~ Jori, the girl I met before the show, passed out within five minutes of the opening act.

~ the kid in front of me wouldn’t stop humping me.

~ ok there were only two, but I figured they were funny or not so funny enough to share, and I couldn’t figure out how to fit them into my above paragraph.

Also, while waiting in line and during the four hour drive there and back I had to find something to do so… out came KEv’s iPhone and we found this really cool website called where you take, what is basically, a vocab quiz and for every question you get right they donate 10 grains of rice through the UN and their sponsors (ie. American Express iTunes etc.) to end world hunger… a small step anyway.

Mid-Weak Update.

Sorry about not blogging anything lately; there just doesn’t seem to be anything to talk about.

The only things I have really thought about lately seem to be extremely trivial, such as, Should I grow my hair back out or should I keep it short. (I miss my hair!!!)

Is Stephen Colbert actually going to run for President??? (He tried… He failed)

Did you hear that the Westboro Baptist Church people were fined 11 Mil. (Finally)

Do I actually have someone new that is going to come back and read my blog or was that just a one time thing? (I don’t blame you if you don’t want to come back; there doesn’t seem to be anything worth reading around her)

See? Extremely trivial right???

I weighed myself the other day and for some reason I’ve lost like 13 pounds. 122 lbs… That’s Crazy!!!

The American Dream

The Church Is Fucked Up


It has been fucked by pride, lust, power, and fear, and well, it ended up giving us this big fat baby called the American church.

The American Dream is a beautiful thing:
A nice care (or three), a nice house in the burbs where you pretty much hide away from the rest of the world. Just be sure to water your lawns and have your smokin’ hot wife, and the little Vietnamese girl you “rescued” from a life of drugs and prostitution, on hand to show off to all your neighbors that live in houses that look exactly like yours.

O yea! This gated community comes with the greenest lawns the biggest pools and an assured seat at some fancy restaurant every Sunday afternoon, not to mention a four car garage to suit your, “Needs”.

The best part is you never have to say more than a, “Hi” or “how ya doin” to someone you might pass on you morning jog through the neighborhood.

Some Call this the American Dream;
I call it the American Church

Wasn’t Jesus (You know that guy who “Christians” claim to worship) the one who said sell all your possessions, give the money to the poor and come and follow me?

But they can co-exist right?

I’m positive that’s what Jesus meant when he said that stuff about selling your stuff and whatnot.
I mean just look at it: Sell your stuff \ Beautiful car, nice home; Follow me \ Hey honey I’m on my way to work at the Christian bookstore, be sure to finish all your home school work before you play your new x box 360. When I get off I’m going to pick up the dry cleaning, then I’ll be back here to pick you guys up so we can go out to eat.
Yep, kinda see the resemblance there.
I definitely see the similarity between spreading the good news to all the world and the modern day Christendom we’ve created for ourselves.
Once again, Huh?

The truth is that the world was created with plenty – that word, in this context, means enough for everyone.
The American lifestyle, and sadly, the modern church’s lifestyle promotes lavish, luxurious, over indulgent, living, which is why there is still a major part of the world that goes to bed with nothing to eat… because of you, not because they are a people in sin (we are a people in sin).

I often find myself only thinking about… well, myself, and my ability to love is used up. There’s no more resources to do what Jesus asked me to do. This is why it is so important for us to be 100% Christian instead of that only being part of who we are.

Yes, I wrote this when I was really angry.

What All Else Hinges On


Every action is a means to an end. If we can accurately foresee the ends to our current actions we can adequately change our current actions to fulfill the ends that we so desire.

I am a teenager and as such I think I know everything. I also know that I don’t know anything close to everything.

I am confident in the field on which I now fight, but am also aware of the fact that that field is changing, and fast.

Right now everything is so black and white; too black and white. I am apprehensive that I won’t be able to hold my ground on a field where grey is introduced; and there after greens and blues collide.

Ethics, morals, choices, they always exist and are constantly in motion, spinning around us like a cyclone on the plains.

Dilemmas on the other hand, are only created when we become aware of these – ethics, morals, and choices.
I must conclude then that greens, blues, even some reds and yellows must already be in the field where I am now standing, but I simply must be color-blind.

That would also mean that it is not the field itself that is changing; it is me.

Does that mean I can just stop?
Stopping would be a choice and not just a one time choice at that. To stop something that was designed to be in constant motion takes a continual choice, and when a choice is what triggers the propulsion into motion it is then impossible to stop said something.

My Wednesday Night Experience


Heartland recently hired a new youth pastor; “Pastor Andy”. I don’t usually attend youth group services, but since it was his first day I decided to check it out. After leaving that night I was left with a few questions…

What is it about the average youth group that makes them think that pushing, “The Experience” with God is the best way to go?

Youth Conventions; supposedly life changing.
Re-dedications; supposedly eternity changing (and sometimes they are).
Worship songs that make you cry; supposedly relationship changing.

We have these “experiences” but never really change. We say, “Let’s live a lifestyle of worship” and we even say “worship is not singing” but find ourselves going back to the same; every single time.

This doesn’t seem like something the church should be doing.

I recently read the book The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. In this book Shane states that when he was a youth leader he had this kid who had “given his life to Jesus” and got busted only a few weeks later for having acid in school. When asked “what happened?” the kid shrugged his shoulders and said “I got bored.”
After this Shane postulates that the reason we “lose kids to the culture of drugs and materialism, of violence and war” is “because we don’t dare them, it’s because we make the gospel too easy.”

When talking to Kevin about this issue he suggested that when the only thing mentioned in a youth group is always about the individual person (what’s going on inside of them; their salvation) it’s going to become about trivial things. There is never a higher level never a higher pupose than that next re-dedication request or that next convention or that next “Experience with God”.

What has the church become when we are crawling through life just trying to hang on to our own salvation, as if it were something to be lost? What has the church become when the only thing it trains the next generation to do is become involved with the snack bar or the singing? What has the church become when it believes the only time it can have an experience with God is through a service on sunday morning? When will the church stand up and dare someone to follow Jesus?

My Inner Conflict

Duality is the mark of life.

My nature blinds me. My pride anesthetizes me. And, in the end, I betray myself.
Logic has become me, and beauty has died. I have become guilty of piracy.
My struggle has ended, but the battle is lost. The war continues, but I am numb.
My ears hear, but my eyes do not see. My mind comprehends, but I have become a hypocrite; the person I hate.

Strength comes through the weakness, but in becoming “strong” I have become weak; in becoming wise I have become a fool. And in becoming righteous I have become wicked.

A new dawn arises, and with it new hope. The pain is unbearable. But I must stay the course. I am, now, no more than a mere mortal, but the knowledge that nothing has changed is what brings the pain.

Now knowing pain, I grieve for those I have wounded. But new life is upon me, and with it new understanding.
I now know the struggle. I have joined the rebellion. And I will fight.

What Do We Worship?


Faith, by nature, is only faith when doubt is present.
Courage is only courage when there is something to prevent you from completing an action (such as fear).
Beauty is only beautiful, when there is pain.
And God is only glorious when He is made perfect in our weakness.

Why are Christians constantly trying to be perfect? Why are Christians constantly trying to make their lives perfect and blaming God for their “blessings”.
Do we think that by these means we worship God?

It seams to me that the we have tried to find a way to worship without sacrifice. We have allowed the ghosts to manipulate and evolve our understanding of the law, so we would never have to face the truth. A truth so profound and so influential that if faced with this truth we would never be the same.

Our lives are not our own. We now claim to live for a risen savior who is the son of God. We now have a responsibility to God and to man to no longer live life as though we were the only ones on earth.

Jesus is calling us to be his followers; his church; unified and unwavering. We must, truly forsake all that we presuppose in order to worship a God so holy that we are not worthy to be in his presence.

Why does the church stoop to worship a calf of gold, when they could worship the God who created the universe?

My thought…
Because having faith in a God that would allow bad things to happen, or rather, having faith in a God that would allow organized chaos, a God not directly in control of the things that happen in the world, is too hard for them. So, they have ceased to have faith. They have instead replaced God with a tangible idol, who they have named God, giver of gifts, and are happy in their ignorance.

Harsh words… I know. But it grieves my heart so much to see the church, the bride of Chirst, sell out for such a cheap trick.